What Refused to Die, Thrived

The greatest inheritance of India’s middle class is not wealth or privilege. It is faith—faith that education can bridge every gap that money cannot. 

Every middle class kid in India is raised with the idea that education is their way of building a good and respectable life. Belonging to a middle class Indian family, that is always what I, and many others around me have grown up hearing. God forbid if we think of something out of the box, because this is supposed to be our “safe way out”. 

But what happens when someone takes away that safety? 

When the very system that we have grown up trusting blindly, that we believed is looking out for us, is protecting us, snatches away our only hope of having a life full of possibilities for our future generation?

Compromise, we were taught. Somewhere between struggling to survive and dreaming big, we started having the idea that when something like this happens, that shakes our very core of safety and belief, we compromise. Not due to lack of will, but because of lack of way.

Thousand and lakhs of kids appear for these exams every year, me being a part of this crowd who appeared for such exams multiple times in my life. I have been part of the crowd once too, when exams were cancelled. I have faced uncertainty. And no, it doesn’t give us additional time to prepare, contrary to what people may believe. Anyone who has been through this will tell you, the uncertainty that accompanies it is worse than the extra time we get.

But with the recent turn of events, and the small win today, we have somehow, albeit slowly, but steadily learnt to hope again. It has shaken our belief that nothing changes in this country, no matter what the injustice. How many times have we turned a blind eye to everything that we know as wrong, but identify as “too out of reach” to be punished? How many times have such names and topics remained only dinner table conversations? How many times have we changed the topic, just because we were sure nothing would change, and we were scared, to put it mildly, to ask for accountability? 

The children of the country have shown us today, that nothing is truly too big if you set your heart to it. As swami Vivekananda once said- “Arise, awake, and stop not till the goal is reached.” 

The children of this country reminded us today that these are not just inspiring words. They are a call to action. Against uncertainty, against complacency, and against the belief that nothing ever changes, they chose to persist—and they prevailed.

May this just be the beginning, and not the end, of asking for accountability, of raising our voices for everything we know as wrong, and for finding courage in truth and standing up for it. After all, history is rarely changed by those who stayed silent—it is shaped by those who refused to.

The Legend who lives on

The endearing address – Zubeen Da. As though he were someone we know as our very own, someone familiar, someone who lives just across the street, world famous, yet our very own.

Being in Assam, witnessing the emotions of the people, it seems surreal. The shops closed, no movement of vehicles, thousands of people gathering peacefully to pay tribute to their favourite singer. All institutions, be it government or private, small shops and even apartments paying homage to the megastar. And trust me when I say this, all of it is heartfelt.

A friend of mine from another part of the country wondered out loud how people are agreeing to shut down their businesses. But its not about agreeing; they are the ones doing it willingly. Very rarely will you see humanity unite as such, not for any personal gain, but for a single unifying cause, irrespective of dividing factors. And perhaps that was the best tribute we could have given to Zubeen Da, for his loud message always was ” Mur kuno jaati nai, mur kuno dhormo nai, moi okol manuh- I’ve no caste, I’ve no religion, I’m only human”.

I belong to a part of the country where people prefer to leave, for growth, for opportunities. But here was he, who always came back, left behind opportunities, for people and for his land.

When you work at a hospital, work always goes on no matter what, and so today my day started the usual way, giving rounds. But I heard a lady passing by the corridor, singing ‘Mayabini’. While she crossed, a ward boy who was working in the corridor continued the song. This, I was reminded again, is the magic of music, the magic of Zubeen da.

This image is how I would like to remember the legend. Larger than life, yet down to earth. World famous, yet our very own. The poeple of Assam have reminded us again that even in today’s world, we come together for love and passion alone, and no other profit. And perhaps this was his parting gift to us, to remind us that humanity still lives on, and united we shall always stand.

As is a tale, so is a life: Not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters.

Forever in our hearts, Zubeen da

Tonight, we made a tryst with destiny

14th Aug 2024. A night, that shall be remembered always, a night that showed us what a ‘common man’ is capable of. The entire nation, nay, the entire world came together in support of ‘Women reclaim the night’. It was a sight to behold, young, old, men, women, children, everyone took to the streets to protest for our rights, safety, that we deserve.

But did the happiness last long? Sadly, no. Goons infiltrated the peaceful protests that were going on, vandalised the emergency unit of RG Kar medical college, harassed the patients, nurses and doctors who were present there, tried to break into hostel premises too, allegedly. Our hopes and spirits were hurt. Is this what this country can stoop down to?

The next morning, 15th august, the independence day of our nation was being celebrated nationwide. I was sad, by the turn of events of the previous night. As I’m sure were many others. Is this independence?

But then, I asked myself, who represents India? We, the people of India do. Who makes up the country? We do. The common man does. And wonders can happen when we unite. Those who are trying to suppress us were put in a position of power by us, the common man. We symbolise the spirit of mother India.

“Long years ago, we made a tryst with destiny. Now the time has come when we shall redeem our pledge – not wholly or in full measure – but very substantially.”

Today we seek justice, for all the women and men of India. We seek justice for her, a doctor, a sister, a daughter, India’s daughter. May justice prevail, and may we not stop till the culprit is caught.

Independence day to all.

Until next time

Maxy,

My darling kitty, did I ever think I’d have to say goodbye to you like that? I still remember the way you came into our lives. You used to sit in our courtyard, a common stray cat, and i used to give you biscuits, unsure if you would have them or not. Bhaiyya used to tell me, give her lovingly, if she trusts you, she’ll have it. It seems you did trust us. And I am so grateful to you for it.

I remember the way you used to walk in front of me, rubbing your head against my legs, purring and wanting a head Scratch.

I remember goldy, mini and all your little kittens whom you introduced in our lives. I remember how you cried each time you lost your kittens.

You were a fighter, baby, and you fought for so long. You took on so much, and I will always be proud of you.

With a piece of you always in my heart, Thank you for the happiness you gave us.

An Open Letter to my cat, Maxy.

Dearest Maxy,

My heart goes out to you darling.

To have all your litters killed, in one night, so brutally is perhaps the worst possible thing that can happen to a mother.

We call you less intelligent species. We don’t understand your emotions. You’re just a stray cat, they said. This has happened to you earlier multiple times, they said.

But the grief I saw you go through, it never felt any less real. The way every night you used to go to their room, the way you called for them continuously overnight, the way you looked at us, hoping we can do something for your babies.

But that’s also the day my ego was shattered. We humans think we’re the most powerful. But in reality, we were just as helpless as you were when the need arose.

• 

Maxy

My darling Maxy, I promise to try to take good care of you and all of your future babies.

With love,

Your Hooman

By the Sea Shore…

A year back, I took a trip with my family to the beaches of the mighty Bay of Bengal. A sudden trip, before I settled down for the year to prepare (I really wish I didn’t have to say this) for my post graduate entrance examination.

This was an impromptu trip, with my mom, dad and my brother, and my cousin’s family joining us midway.

Now Puri is definitely not a place to plan an impromptu trip to from my hometown, as it is about 1000km far but that is what I chose. Reason, you ask? The sea.

I’ve always loved the sea. I come from a place in the north east side of India, which is a valley full of fertile lands and river, surrounded on all sides by majestic hills and breathtaking waterfalls. But I’ve always had a thing for the sea. I remember the first time I saw a sea(to be more precise,the Indian Ocean) I was 14. I remember walking by the beaches , being hit by the waves and loving the feeling, collecting sea shell and molluscs, refusing to come out of the water when my father repeatedly asked me to, I remember my shoes being taken away by a wave, and then again was returned to me by another… I remember all these and more, and so I’ve a thing for the sea and the beach and the waves and the sand dunes.

So we travelled for a total of about 12 hours, including flight and train to reach Puri. It’s famous for it’s beach and for the Jagannath temple, built around the 10th century.

We reached at about 5am in the morning, and took an autorickshaw from the railway station to our hotel. The hotel, ‘Zamindar palace’ was aptly located, just opposite to the beach. To my delight, we had a clear view of the same from the balcony. What more can a girl ask for?

We freshened up a bit, and headed to the beach. The gush of air, the sand that slips away from under the feet when the wave hits, the smell of salt in the air are all things that I love; things that I cannot express with words. The morning passed lazing around in the beach and sipping on hot tea in ‘kulhads’

In the evening, we visited the popular ‘ Swarga Dwar beach’ of puri, and it was just as I remembered. There was a feeling of a carnival, with street side vendors selling all sorts of clothes, show pieces, conch shells, jewelleries and what not. There were tiny set ups of merry-go-rounds, and horses and camels that one could ride. A group of gentlemen, probably in their 60s were encouraging each other to try out the camel rides, one could see the shine in their eyes in trying out something so new.

We rented a few chairs and settled down, and watched the sun set through the horizon. It was, and perhaps always will be, a surreal feeling for me.

The next morning, we went to the Jagannath temple to pray and give our offerings. The ‘panda’ in the temple guided us through the various small temples around the ‘garbha griha’ and explained the significance. At the end, we entered the garbha griha. The idol of lord Jagannath , lord balaram and lady subhadra are visible from a distance. It is said that the idols were not completed by the first sculptor,and hence they remain so even till date.

The Prasad of lord Jagannath is another of my favourite things about puri. A traditional platter, consisting of 3 types of rice with lentils and vegetables, with a little bit of a sweet aftertaste in all the dishes and quite a good amount of coconut.

The trip ended on a wonderful note, and we returned back to our homes, to our usual lives.

Like each time I’ve left the sea, I made a promise of ‘until next time’. The next time is indeed much awaited, for I can’t wait to dip my toes in the sand, get hit by waves and breathe in the salt air.

The ‘on’ and ‘off’ paper confusion

So I received a lot of appraisal for my writeup yesterday. A big thank you to all of you out there for boosting my confidence.❤️

I’m again on duty today, at my primary health center for the day. And night. Basically 24hours.

It’s been more than a year that I’ve been working here. To be honest, it has not been bad. A little exasperating,sure. But I cannot call it a bad experience.

But as they say, tough times bring out the true image of people. I’ve really understood the meaning of that in the last couple of days. These few months have been tough on all of us, physically as well as mentally. But even when during this time, I see people exercising their political connections, using their position of power to avert from their duties, it amuses me. Human behaviour, you say? Perhaps.

As I sit in my emergency duty room, with a bottle filled with spirit, the hand sanitizer we’re provided with, the mask that I had to procure myself (widely available in the market but apparently very rare to provide by the government) , and go through the schedule of my upcoming village visits, I’m but surprised and irritated. I’ve been provided with a list of villages, that are not there on the Google maps. “They’re not hard to reach madam, I think your map is faulty,” says a guy from my hospital, who himself had told me that this is a hard to reach area! Amused, should I be?

Just as I’m consoling myself on the matter, I recieve a call from my hospital accountant saying that I’m supposed to drive my car there (they are providing us cars, but only on paper) examine patients with fever, and decide somehow if the person has covid, or only the flu, dengue, malaria, typhoid or Japanese encephalitis. Quite a doctor I’m, huh?

Well, I don’t know if things are going to get better anytime soon, but I do hope the difference of ‘on paper’ and ‘reality’ changes in India soon.

Life in the time of Corona

I know, what a lame topic you’ll say… After so many months you’ll say… But it was just too much hectic for me to pen down my thoughts for the last few months, so here goes….

Life has changed for most of us these days. We don’t go out just for the sake of going out, no partying, no hanging out, no movie dates, and many more changes have happened in each of our lives. To all those who have lost their loved ones in this Pandemic, my deepest condolences to you all… This too shall pass, stay strong.

But life has changed the most for me and people like me I suppose, the healthcare workers. Being a doctor in a village of India, you cannot imagine the kind of people I meet. There were people who in the month of March were saying that coronavirus and Covid 19 is some sort of a conspiracy (they actually believed that!).There are people attacking healthcare workers because they believe we are injecting the disease to them (Seriousl?!).

And then there are people who are educated, who think it’s all on pen and paper; who make wearing masks compulsory and then pull down the mask while giving interviews; who gather a crowd to show all the work they’re doing for the society and while clicking pictures, pose to show that they’re maintaining distance.

Life has been hectic, I’ve become used to seeing and hearing these things on a daily basis now. But what surprises me the most is how people still treat us, the public and the government alike. The people of our country believe that us treating them humbly (both medical and behaviourial) is their birth right. Undoubtedly. But do we not deserve the minimum respect as a human being? Healthcare workers have been assaulted, asked to vacate their homes, during this Pandemic when all over the world they are being appraised for their work. I don’t want that. I’m sure most of my colleagues will agree. We didn’t choose this profession for people’s appraisal. Many of us are unpaid for months. Claps don’t pay our bills you know.

I’d have to say I’m amongst the lucky few as I’m getting my paychecks regularly. But you know what else we don’t get? Proper PPE. Yes, we hear our politicians every day that we have enough PPE to last months. But we get only 3 layered surgical masks and gloves. (Ignoring all the guidelines)

But there’s always a silver lining. I work for the smiling faces that I see when I’ve treated my patients. I work for the old lady who blesses me for the very little that I do for her. I work for the little kid whose pain is eased when I prescribe him medicines. I work for the oath that I took on the day of my graduation . I, and all those like me, work for our job satisfaction. Not for the paychecks, not for the claps. None of this would be enough to send a soldier to the Warfield without armours

Hope things start to get better for all of us soon.

The weight loss journey

So lately, I’ve noticed that I’ve gained a lot of weight (when your mother starts saying that you’ve gained weight, it’s time to shed off a few pounds).

With winter approaching, exercise is something I’m not going to be comfortable in and dedicated towards, as waking up early is completely not my forte. So I decided to try out the other major way of losing weight – changing my diet.

Coming from an Indian family, rice is a major part of our staple diet atleast twice daily. So to tell my parents that I’m completely quitting rice was indeed hard job. I recieved a variety of replies that included “What else will you eat?” or “I didn’t mean that when I said you’ve gained weight” and after every meal “Was it enough? Have a serving of rice?”.

So after a lot of explanation that people actually don’t need to eat that much rice to survive, I’ve finally started a diet where I have rice as part of my meal once a day (that’s the best I could do folks!).

A day in Isle Natura.

So me and my friends decided to take a break from out everyday schedule and spend a weekend traveling. As we didn’t have much time, we decided to visit a small and newly opened resort, Isle natura, in the banks of the mighty Brahmaputra.

When we checked the resort out on Google, there were no proper information regarding the room tariff, or how to book rooms in advance. So we called up the manager on the number provided, and he said that we wouldn’t need any prior booking.

So on a chilly November morning, we drove from Guwahati city, which is in Assam (a state of northeast India) to Isle Natura.

We weren’t sure regarding how much time it would take, so we had had our breakfast on the way. But surprisingly it didn’t take us much time, about 45 min despite the usual traffic.

One can stay in these cottages as well, equipped with attached bathroom, but the river can’t be seen from these.

On reaching, we recieved a warm welcome, and were shown to our rooms. I hadn’t expected much as I knew the resort was new, but I was in for a surprise.

The view from our window

The rooms that we recieved were very spacious and airy, with proper lights and bathrooms were clean as well (which is very very important for me). And the best part was the view from the room.

By the time we freshened up, it was lunch time already so we went and ordered the food and asked the people there for places to visit in and around. They advised us to visit the riverbank. So we ordered the food and went for a walk. It was a wonderful experience, with the sand dunes covering our feet as they dipped into the river bed, and the cool breeze the swept our hair provided us with a much needed break from the usual hustle bustle. We went back to find the food served. It was absolutely delicious, homely and not too heavy on the stomach.

Post lunch, we mostly spent the day indoors in out cottage, and went for an evening stroll to watch the sunset at about 5pm, and also visited a nearby shiv Mandir. We went back to have some tea and fritters. The evening was spent amongst ourselves, gossiping and enjoying the landscape

The star of the evening definitely was the dinner, for which we were served duck meat, which was specially brought for us from the nearby village (how cool is that!). And I must say, it was absolutely sumptuous

The next morning, we were served our breakfast, which is included in the room tariff. There was a slight tiff regarding booking of a cab as the location is quite remote but Uber and Ola services are available there.

For 4 People, we had a total expenditure of approximately Rs 12000 ( including the food ). The staff there is amazing, and very friendly.All in all, it was a wonderful experience and I’d definitely love to revisit the place!